the Power Skill that helped me Transform Depression To Joy.
I was 15 when I tried to commit suicide. Obviously I failed.
Over the next 15 years, I failed at many other things. Two divorces, careers that couldn’t hold my interest, and health wrecked by a junk diet, smoking, binge drinking, and opioid addiction. Finally, I crashed into a dark void that I was sure had broken me completely.
Yet a tiny spark of hope shimmering faintly in the dreariness stopped me from attempting suicide again.
Today, almost 18 years later, I am alive and sober. And the deceptively simple, strikingly powerful skill that saved my life is Dynamic Attention.
Dynamic Attention can simply be described as the ability to be expansively curious and fully accepting of the present moment experience, just as it is.
Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this definition. It is more than just mindfulness in action.
It is a precise way of seeing ourselves, our inner and outer world that is quite literally life-transforming.
Imagine your mental gaze is a lighthouse and your moving attention is the light of the beacon.
If the beacon was clearly picking up details of a boat when it needs to; while having an expansive awareness of the surrounding waves and other objects; with the ability to contract and expand focus as required, then you are practicing Dynamic Attention.
Sometimes becoming familiar with the opposite of something brings into clarity the very thing we can’t see clearly.
With that contrast in mind, here’s how I know if I am not practicing Dynamic Attention precisely.
If the beacon (my attention) is blinking on and off; the light is contracted around one object; it is unable to move away from that object; it moves rapidly from one object to another without my volition, if there was no awareness of other objects on the horizon, then I am habitually practicing Partial Attention.
A side note: in our fast-moving, over-achieving culture, Partial Attention is also given the spurious label of multitasking and often, ADHD.
If I don’t know whether I am practicing Dynamic Attention or mistakenly strengthening Partial Attention, I ask myself these questions:
Do I find yourself suddenly overwhelmed by big emotions and don’t see them coming?
In the middle of one task, do I find myself doing another and can’t remember the exact moment when I got distracted?
When I listen to someone talking, is my mind fabricating stories or visualizing something completely unrelated to the present moment?
Can I see the difference between self-control and self-regulation and how the former causes cravings to come back stronger?
If you are curious about learning Dynamic Attention and how it can improve any of the above symptoms, you can try this.
Imagine an army of ants walking in a straight line on the ground from a distance. They will look like a solid, unbroken line. It is only when you look closely that you see the spaces in between.
Now pick any action you commonly do in your daily routine. Like washing the dishes. Driving. Walking. Brushing your teeth. Anything except the act of thinking (if you’re a beginner).
Use your beacon to break the series of actions of walking, driving, or brushing into smaller segments.
Small enough that you can pick up the fine details of body sensations, the sprouting of thoughts, and emotions, but not so small that you have to tighten your brow and clench your teeth to focus.
How easy or hard this is for me (and maybe for you), is how friendly or frustrated I am with myself, and how I practice depends on my past likes and dislikes, the beliefs and habits that have shaped my attention up to this point.
I know without a doubt that how often I train will shape my attention in the future. It will be the difference between distraction and focus, stress or joy, delusion or insight.
It is no exaggeration to say that Dynamic Attention is the single tool that has helped me create and live a purposeful life.
Having Dynamic Attention doesn’t guarantee the absence of stormy seas or turbulent waves. Nor does it mean perpetually sunny skies and calm waters.
But with Dynamic Attention, I can:
Decrease reactivity to emotions because I can see them coming
Increase sensitivity to the conditions that improve mental and physical health (rather than numb myself to those that decrease it)
Practice self-regulation which increases equanimity
And I can make those claims from experience.
Today, I’m in a committed and supportive marriage and a mom to a spirited 8-year-old. I earn a living doing what I enjoy. I’ve been able to stick to a healthy diet and exercise routine (through the pandemic).
And I owe it all to the deceptively simple yet strikingly powerful skill of Dynamic Attention.