five Invisible causes for staying stuck In stubborn habits.
Download the simple tool at the end of the page to resolve the five causes.
Fixed Beliefs:
By far, the most challenging blockade in the way of changing old habits is my mind.
For many years, I didn’t question the unbending and wrong assumptions of myself that shaped every decision and action I took in my career and relationships.
I believed what my thoughts were saying.
But once I began to shine the light of awareness on these patterns and self-limiting beliefs, I was able to transform my physical health (lose body fat, gain lean muscle mass, have more energy, and better sleep), I also improved my relationships, mental health, and work habits.
Relying on will-power and self-control alone:
When I was ready to make a change, mainstream advice told me to ‘just do it!’ Make a list, gather all my will-power and just go!
But I would run out of steam in a few days, max a week.
And then I stayed frozen and numb in shame and self-hatred.
I believed I was a failure and felt even more deflated than when I started. The (scientific) fact is that will-power and self-control are finite sources and need to be used strategically to work in our favour.
The practice of planning in advance what decisions I need to make tomorrow made today less stressful.
Lack of structure and accountability:
Even now, I often approach new goals as a lizard would a prey—haphazardly without any focus and direction.
This approach makes for interesting experiments but not progress.
I’m not the only one. Too many of us commit to shiny new resolutions only to go back to old habits before January ends.
To change tomorrow, I need to change today’s actions consistently.
Success breeds consistency (not the other way around), so I need to set myself up for success by increasing structure and accountability.
Quite simply, I need to know every day:
What exactly am I doing tomorrow?
When exactly am I doing it?
How will I know it’s time to do it?
Am I absolutely sure it’s a small enough action for me to do without any mental resistance?
And how will I know that I did it?
No plan for relapses:
If I had purposely planned to fail, I would have been ready for relapses.
Because even when I quit smoking or drinking for weeks, I would seek the old habits when life got hard.
Those old grooves are security blankets we don’t want to let go of easily.
Now I minimize taking dips and relapses personally and maximize the pride in getting back on track. Because it doesn’t matter how slow I’m going as long as I don’t stop for too long.
Focusing on future outcomes, not daily actions:
Having a goal can be a powerful driving force for change. It feels good to imagine what Simrit 4.0 will be like in the future.
But after the rush of fantasy subsides, my mind state of today isn’t feeling ready or able to put in the effort that the future goal requires.
When I imagine what feels like the mountain I need to climb, staying put where I am starts to look good.
Then, I bring my attention to this moment, right here, where I need to do that small manageable action I committed to.
It’s the vote my mind is making for the change in the future.